Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality - And Why I LOVE The Latter

As an eating disorder therapist, here is my interpretation of body positivity vs. neutrality

Jun 05, 2024

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In our journey towards healthier body image perceptions, two significant movements have emerged: body positivity and body neutrality. While both aim to improve how we view and treat our bodies, they offer slightly different approaches and philosophies. This is the definition of body positivity on Wikipedia:

"Body-positive movement aims to challenge unrealistic ideals of physical attractiveness, build positive body image, and improve self-confidence. A central belief advocated is that beauty is a construct of society and that this construct should not determine one's confidence or self-worth. Individuals are encouraged to love themselves to the fullest while not only accepting but even embracing their physical traits."

And I like this definition. I fully agree with this. In an _ ideal_ world, this is what I want for myself, for you my reader, for my partner, friends, family, everybody on this earth! Don’t come at me saying that I’m a pessimist but… Even though I like this definition and fully support it, I also believe we have to see the reality and work with what we have. And the reality is that body positivity is very challenging for those who struggle or have struggled with their body image, and even more challenging for those who had/have an eating disorder.

Why Body Positivity Can Be Challenging

Body positivity encourages people to love their bodies unconditionally. It promotes the idea that you shouldn’t only be accepting of your body, but you should be able to look in the mirror and feel proud and happy with your appearance to the fullest. This movement arose from a well-intentioned place, aiming to combat negative self-image and societal pressures that dictate unrealistic beauty standards. However, expecting oneself to feel elated about their appearance every single day can be quite challenging, especially now that body positivity is seen as the “solution” or “antidote” to eating disorders. With the type of population we are talking about, perfectionism, rigidity, and high standards are common. So adoring your body at all times ultimately adds _ something else_ to the list of things to achieve, _ another_ standard to meet.

“Another thing I’m failing at”

For many, the pressure to always love their bodies can feel like an insurmountable hurdle. When individuals fail to meet these expectations, it often leads to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment , inadvertently perpetuating the cycle of negative self-image. Because with the body positivity movement, people feel like they are expected to go from hating their body due to their struggles to suddenly adoring the way they look, which is extremely difficult to do. People already struggle really hard in recovery. On top of that, failing to practice body positivity can and did make lots of people feel even worse about themselves. With time, I among others, have realized that the movement of body positivity can silently drift into some kind of toxic positivity if you are already struggling, and that it is not feasible to constantly love your body.

I am hosting a webinar on June 7, 2024: Coping with Bad Body Image - A Practical Webinar to Improve Your Body Image

Embracing Body Neutrality

Body neutrality offers a more balanced and attainable approach. Instead of focusing on always loving your body, body neutrality encourages a respectful and kind stance towards your physical self. It emphasizes appreciating and taking a neutral stance about your body.

On days when you feel dissatisfied with your appearance, body neutrality invites you to shift the focus from your body's looks to its existence and functions. You might remind yourself of the amazing things your body allows you to do—hugging loved ones, connect with others, laughing with friends, and carrying you through your daily activities. It's about acknowledging that it's okay not to love your body all the time, but you should still treat it with respect and care.

Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality

Another Reason Why I Prefer Body Neutrality

Negative emotions are a part of human experience. It’s only natural to have bad body image days. We cannot constantly walk around being amazed by the way our body looks. I don’t know about you, but for me personally, there are some angles that I really don’t enjoy seeing my body from. I don’t certainly find my body very pleasant in bad lighting. Or simply, on some days, I don’t wake up feeling the best about myself. Bad body image days are totally normal to have! They also are an excellent opportunity to practice body neutrality. Instead of forcing yourself to believe that you look stunning, you can accept that you might not feel great about your appearance that day. Instead, you can focus on being grateful for your body's existence, capabilities, and its role in your life.

My Personal Interpretation of Body Neutrality

What is the opposite of love? You might say it’s anger, but I want to argue that it’s indifference. I think we can make the same comparison here: if you are struggling with your body image, I can imagine that you have experienced some type of guilt, shame, disgust among others, towards your body. Think of the times when you were a child, all before the bad body image stuff popped up. Did you walk around absolutely loving your body at all times? Probably not. The opposite of bad body image wouldn’t be then body positivity —loving your body to the fullest— but _ indifference - body neutrality_ .

For example, on a day when you’re feeling down about your looks, try zooming out. If you have already tried body positivity and went up to the mirror and have told yourself “ Look at that body, I look gorgeous today! I love the way my thighs and arms look. Hell yeah! ” and it didn’t magically make you feel 100% better about yourself, I get it. It’s normal. It’s human. You don’t have to get rid of bad feelings right away by trying to turn them into something positive. Your negative emotions are just as valid as positive ones. Try a more neutral approach: “ Okay, I see my body, it’s there. That’s it. It’s my body. It exists. I feel these bad feelings towards it, yep I feel them. But it doesn’t mean I have to change it. It’s just there. Carrying me around. Helping me breathe, drink water, exist. ”

Body neutrality is particularly beneficial because it sets realistic expectations. It acknowledges that it is natural to have fluctuations in how we feel about our bodies. By promoting acceptance and respect over constant adoration, body neutrality can be practiced by anyone, regardless of weight, gender, age, or ethnicity. It provides a more inclusive and attainable path towards a healthier body image.

Final Words

For years, the body positivity movement has encouraged us to love our bodies unconditionally. While well-intentioned, this approach can be challenging for many. Expecting to adore our bodies constantly is unrealistic. It is only natural to have bad body image days. Body neutrality offers a more realistic and compassionate alternative, focusing on being indifferent, neutral and respectful rather than their appearance. What is important is that we accept and treat our body with respect, no matter how we feel about it. Everyone can practice body neutrality, no matter what their weight, gender, age, ethnicity are or what disability they might have. Body neutrality is suited for anyone and everyone!

🌱Let’s meet for my upcoming webinar on 7th of June: COPING WITH BAD BODY IMAGE - _ A Practical Webinar to Improve Body Image_ __ Secure your spot TODAY to start working on improving your body image.

🌱I give online and in-person (Leiden, the Netherlands) therapy and counselling sessions for eating disorders, body image struggles and more. Send me a message via realisticbodytherapist.com