Survival Guide: Holiday Season with Eating Disorders

Dec 23, 2021

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It’s the most beautiful time of the year! The weather is icy-cold, beautifully decorated pine trees are exhibited through the windows of neighbours, Christmas lights shine on the streets exquisitely. Students go back home from college, and working professionals take some time off work. And of course, we spend a lot of time around family. It is supposed to be cheerful and full of joy.

For a person with an eating disorder, regardless of their age , the holiday season may bring more stress than joy. This can be due to several reasons: our routines change completely, eating habits are no exception. There is also an increased possibility of receiving negative comments about our body, as we come into contact with more people. Let’s not forget the constant talk about the number one New Year’s resolution for almost everyone: weight loss.

To cope with all the possible negative scenarios you might find yourself in, I have prepared a survival guide for you! I hope these tips will help you prepare mentally for the upcoming days and provide you with some solutions in case it does not go as planned.

1. Avoid skipping meals.

It is very tempting to skip meals during the holiday season because we have a different meal routine than usual. For instance, knowing that you are going to have a feast in the evening, you may be urged to eat less during the day. Yet, skipping meals or restricting almost always backfires. Do your best to stick to your normal routine , this will help **** prevent your body from feeling restricted.

2. Do not try to find ‘‘healthy’’ alternatives.

You can have mashed potatoes, gravy, pie or casserole... You don't need to find “healthy” alternatives. This further adds to the mindset that there are unhealthy foods that should ‘never’ be eaten. You know what is unhealthier than those foods? Feeling guilty about what you just ate. Your eating disorder may tell you otherwise, but it is okay to enjoy food. You _ deserve_ to enjoy food. Trust me, you will be more satisfied with the real recipes anyway.

3. Prepare a healthy coping plan.

Have a healthy coping plan at your disposal. You may have to converse with family members who are deep in the diet culture. Expect to be triggered as you may see “that” relative who always makes a comment about your weight. This is not to say assume the worst but prepare yourself for any negative comments or judgments you might receive from family members. It is important to know our triggers so that we can manage them. Make a list of healthy coping skills that can help you deal with any stressful emotions that you might experience.

4. Say no to diet talk.

In addition to being the ‘most beautiful time’ of the year, I think Christmas is the time during which a lot of diet talk happens. So many people look back at the year and decide they would like to finally lose weight or get fit. It is extremely likely that you will hear some ‘‘ Oh I was bad this year, I gained x kgs! ’’s with a regretful tone and ‘‘ Did you lose weight? You look so much better! ’’s with an envious tone. If they catch you off-guard, you may find yourself falling into the diet-talk pit. To avoid that, think of some answers that you can give when faced with triggering conversations. Here are some examples: '' I struggle(d) with disordered eating and this topic is triggering me. Can we talk about something else?' ' or '' You know food has no moral value right? ''. And of course, let’s not forget the simplest solution: leaving. Go to the bathroom, to the other room, go outside, just somewhere else… Not participating in uncomfortable conversations is a form of self-care.

5. Shift your perspective.

It is not about eating, but spending time with loved ones and enjoying it. Everyone is there to enjoy each other's company, not only to have dinner. It is supposed to be fun, not stressful. However, even if it is stressful, I have good news for you, just like everything else in life, this holiday season too will pass!

6. Practice self-compassion.

If you have a hard time dealing with the naturally stressful situation you are in ( which is also okay! ), understand that it will take time and practice to be able to manage triggering situations. Even when you master the art of managing your triggers, there may be some days that you cannot help but be triggered. **** So practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Compassion is made up of three main components (according to Dr. Kristen Neff):

• Self-kindness: being nice to yourself, talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend. 'It's okay' 'I am not a failure', 'This doesn't define me'
• Common humanity: other people might share your situation, you are not alone or defective. 'Other people also struggle with overeating. I am not the only one.'
• Mindfulness: being aware of the situation, bringing yourself back to reality. 'Yes I feel awful but it is not the end of the world.'

Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/ko-im/2014/12/an-argument-for-self-love/

One final remark: If you can’t seem to let go of disordered cognitions, I would like to remind you that holiday food is still the same food. There is nothing to be afraid of. Food stays the same. I know it feels like it has more calories but it does not nor it is unhealthier just because it is the holiday season.

_ Happy holidays to you all!_